Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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