Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
