so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So squirting runs in the family.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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