At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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