Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
