As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
