Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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