I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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