grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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