dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
