forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
