Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
