I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
