My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
