I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
