I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
