If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
