and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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