how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
