I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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