3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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