so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
