Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
