I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's like iHOP with fire
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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