i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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