very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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