Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
