If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
