So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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