got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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