i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
