He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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