She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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