i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
soo... how was my night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
