can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
