I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
