You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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