Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
