i need an iv and a liver transplant
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
