You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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