well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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