i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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