cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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