And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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