I think I won the penis lottery.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A+ Viking dick
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
