You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i need an iv and a liver transplant
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
