Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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