Your face is a jimmy john
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
