For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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