well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
