I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
